People Are Strange, Doors Fans Are Stranger aka What’s Up, Cock?
Want proof? Here are a bunch of Doors fans seeking a pardon for Jim Morrison. Now if you ask me, there is absolutely no forgiveness availible for the heinous crimes committed by the so called Lizard...
View ArticleNot With The Beatles
Fifth Beatle Quits says BBC. It won’t surprise you to know that I think most musicians are a bit dim. But even I have to admit that they’re usually cleverer than the people working for them. “The man...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Theme Tune To Dad’s Army
“Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler” sings Bud Flanagan at the start of Dad’s Army. I think you’ll find that Herr Hitler was not “kidding” anyone, and was deadly serious about his attempted...
View ArticleVIEW-WATCH URGENT APPEAL
Friends of the busker men The View are in a spot of pickly bother, readers! They’ve lost their support band, The Horrors. I expect that the so-called Horrors realised what TRUE HORROR was after...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: PRIVATE DANCER
“God help us if there is a war”, my father used to say looking at Top Of The Pops on television. I could no hear him of course, as I had my fingers in my ears to protect them from the Saville peddled...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: Carcass – CORPORAL JIGSORE QUANDARY
There are only two songs I could find that mentioned Corporals, and since my views on Pink Floyd seem adequately covered*, I would rather look at Carcass. Initially though I thought there would be...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: XTC – SERGEANT ROCK
Actually the XTC single is called Sgt.Rock, where Sgt is the abbreviation for Sergeant. Which is not surprising for XTC, a band so poor at spelling that they could not spell their own name. Even the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: WARRANT (OFFICER) – Cherry Pie
“Damn fine Cherry Pie”. Such was Agent Smith’s catch phrase in David Lynch whacked-out-a-thon Twin Peaks. (A TV show responsible for not only Julee Cruise’s aural mogadon “Falling” but THE ENTIRITY OF...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: LIEUTENANT PIGEON
Ha ha, finally I get the jump on my arch-nemesis Tom Ewing and his music loving ways. Over on his tedious attempt to commit suicide / listen to every UK number one ever he is stuck in the hinterland on...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: CAPTAIN BEEFHEART
Really. Do I have to write any words at all? Surely John Peel’s love for Don Van Vliet says it all. Surely the sunken hearts of every teenager who bought Trout Mask Replica in the belief it was the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
They Are Coming For Our Kids
Why is pornography on the top shelf of a newsagents? Why are skin flicks on late at night? Why has Bob Dylan got a face that would scare off any babe-in-arms? SIMPLE: TO KEEP THIS SICK FILTH AWAY FROM...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What Album Covers Are Really Trying To Tell Us: 4: Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
I set fire to an arcade once. Well, who could resist burning the leaping loons playing Dance Dance Revolution. I heard the thumping base of “You Can’t Touch This”, two synchronised robo-teens and all I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Bible Of Badness Special: 1 Corinthians 15:55
Biblical scholars, have recently queried the standard translation of this particular part of the Bible. One of the more famous bits, this common exclamation was seen as a way of thundering against...
View ArticleIHM HEALTH AND SAFETY WATCH: THE WATERBOYS “The Whole Of The Moon”
Mike Scott was not a clever man. For instance, he seems unaware that all he has to do to see the whole of the moon, rather than a crescent, is wait a couple of weeks. However, the object of his...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What Album Covers Are Really Trying To Tell Us: 5: MIKA – Life In Cartoon Motion
Mika is a pop wunderkind isn’t he? Not content with “trying a little Freddie” in his intercontental balistic miss of a single Grace Kelly, he is now – er – trying a little Freddie in his Fat Bottom...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Take A K Away: MIKA vs MIA (A Tanya Competition)
I got mail. Well a comment from someone calling him/herself TamilTyger after my comments about Mika’s probable blindness*: Dear Tanya, this is a bit of a cheap shot, even for you. Not to mention the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Who Do They Think They Are: 1: Robyn
Everyone knows that the hatchet faced Swede has not burst fully formed on to the UK pop scene with her number one hit “With Every Heartbeat”. Indeed she has been flogging the song for about a year,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Hot Date With… Sean Kingston
Online dating is a wonderful thing… SeanK35: Sensitive young man into eating, singing like a girl and the outdoors would like to meet an ugly girl, any age, any race just NOT BEAUTIFUL. TanyaIHM: Hi...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tanya’s Music News Round Up!!!
In my never-ending battle against the evils of music, I occasionally come across allies who often are unaware of how helpful they are to me. Take the US Immigration services who have decided that The...
View ArticleTANYA’S FEMINIST CRUSADE (against Shed Seven)
For obvious reasons I tend to avoid the Guardian on a Friday. Not only does it contain the Film and Music section, it has Beth Ditto’s advice column. I have a bit of advice for Beth Ditto myself...
View Article
